On our way home from the grocery store last week, my children spied a wondrous sight: a Ferris wheel! Having only been to a fair once or twice before, this discovery inspired a great deal of excitement. To everyone’s delight, Dad agreed to take everyone by to check it out, at the same time making it very clear that rides were likely to be expensive and that everyone should take their own money. Arriving at the fair, we found what we expected to be true; most rides cost anywhere from $3 to $5. When you multiply this for a family of eleven, it adds up rather quickly. We decided to treat everyone to the ride of their choice, after which the children would be free to decide if they would like to spend their own cash to go on the other rides. Everyone enthusiastically chose their ride, and enjoyed it thoroughly, although some commented on the shocking brevity of a $4 ride. It then came time for them to make a hard decision; would they spend their own hard-earned money to try out the other rides? We stood for a while watching, the children intrigued, yet clearly calculating in their heads; "Is the fun I would have going on that ride worth the price? My ten-year old son asked me, "Mom, do you think I should go on it?" I answered him, "It is a fun ride; but you have to figure that it would cost you almost an hour’s worth of yard work to go on it (it was $5). You have to ask yourself, is it worth it to me?"

I was not too surprised to find us walking back to our car a few minutes later. The lure of the light, music and motion had been pretty strong; but the personal experience of cash earned through real labor, and the understanding that opportunities to earn money to replace the cash spent are not always readily available, turned out to be stronger. I have to admit that I was proud of the children’s decision. Although I think it is good to spend some money on fun and entertainment, and Adam and I intentionally set aside some funds for family outings, I was glad to see that the children were growing in maturity in their ability to carefully consider the best use of limited resources.

I once read the response of a grandfather, who had successfully navigated the road of parenting, when asked for parenting advice. "Well," he said, "to begin with, if you have a lot of money, give most of it away."

This advice might sound a little odd to a generation that has been overwhelmed with the pressure to provide materially for their children. We’re not just talking about food to eat, a roof over their heads, clothes to wear…we’re talking about Happy Meals, a bedroom of their own (tastefully decorated, of course) and the latest trend in clothing. Many parents simply can’t stand for their children to want for anything, or to lack anything their peers might have. We have to examine whether this mindset has proven beneficial to our children.

The Bible encourages us to "endure hardship." Hardship can be defined as adversity, need, and difficulty. Why would an all-powerful, all-loving Father who owns the "cattle on a thousand hills," want His children to endure hardship? His purpose is clear. Hebrews 12:7-8 explains: "Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?"

A wise father disciples his child, teaching them self-control, obedience, and wisdom; in short, he teaches him how to order his life. Allowing our children to experience and learn how to respond to the challenges of real life while under our protection gives them the understanding and character to manage life on their own when the time comes. I am sometimes amazed when I see newlyweds going into debt early in their marriage in order to match the lifestyle they were used to in their parent’s home. I can’t help but wonder what future financial stress they might have been spared if they had been taught to value a simpler lifestyle. President Calvin Coolidge once made the statement that "There is no dignity quite so impressive and no independence quite so important, as living within your means." Does that statement resonate in our hearts, or is the thought of doing without a new car every five years, the newest technological gadget, and a Christmas that makes a credit card company’s heart sing simply too much for us?

It gives a parent a measure of temporary satisfaction to give their child an easy, privileged life; it would have been fun, that night of the fair, to have been able to give each of the children an unlimited ride pass, funnel cakes and "tacos in a bag" (I have no idea what that is, but it sounded intriguing). I am thankful, however, that we stayed within our means. I believe that in doing so, we gave them a blessing much more lasting than a spinning head and an upset stomach; the understanding that in real life, there is no such thing as a "free ride." They are gaining the wisdom to recognize that someone is going to have to pay the price, and the strength to say "No," when the cost exceeds the value of the thing they desire.

The great general, Douglas MacArthur, was known by his men to pray for his son Arthur on a daily basis. This is part of that prayer: "Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm…" May the fatherly wisdom to recognize what will truly bless our children be our parenting legacy as well.